Managing Family Stress During the Holidays with Boundaries and Self Care
The holiday season can be joyful, but for many, it also can bring family stress, anxiety, and even depressive feelings. Understanding how to protect your mental health while navigating family dynamics is key to enjoying the holidays with more ease.
Why Family Stress Happens
Family gatherings can trigger old conflicts, disagreements, and tension. Differences in traditions, beliefs, personalities, or unresolved issues may surface, creating feelings of overwhelm, especially for those managing anxiety, depression and unresolved trauma.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional well being. They help you participate in family events without compromising your mental health. Remember the difference between a boundary and a suggestion is realizing that you can only control YOUR behavior not others. Ie: A suggestion is “I don’t like it when you talk to me this way” vs. “I will not be spoken to this way” then remove yourself from the disrespectful person. Boundaries may not always be “liked” or “appreciated” so it is your job to respect yourself and follow through with actionable behavior change.
Tips for Setting Boundaries:
Communicate early: Let loved ones know your limits ahead of time and be sure to follow through with consistent behavior management of self.
Prioritize your needs: Decide which events you will attend and how long you plan to stay. Stick with your preplanned decision.
Stay assertive yet kind: Use statements like, “I’m not going to discuss that topic with you” Or “If you continue forcing the subject I am going to end this conversation and leave” Sometimes the best option to preserve a relationship is “agreeing to disagree” and leaving it at that. Agreeing on topics is not a prerequisite to having a relationship with loved ones and holidays or family gatherings are never a good time to discuss painful memories or past conflicts.
Watch excessive alcohol consumption: Drinking excessively can break down personal boundaries and exacerbate conflict so be sure to manage your alcohol use and remove yourself from others who either will not or can not manage their drinking.
Coping with Anxiety and Depression
Managing your mental health proactively can reduce stress during holiday gatherings.
Strategies to Try:
Mindfulness exercises: Short breathing or grounding techniques reduce tension.
Maintain routines: Sleep, nutrition, and exercise help stabilize mood.
Challenge negative thoughts: Remind yourself, “I can participate without compromising my well-being.” Or if you do not feel strong enough during this time, realize there is no shame in choosing not to celebrate with people who will not respect you.
Seek professional support: Therapy offers a safe space to process emotions and build coping strategies during the stress the holidays and multiple social/family events brings.
Embrace Compassion and Realistic Expectations
The holidays don’t need to be perfect. Accept that stress may occur and practice self-compassion. Understanding that you cannot control others behavior allows for a calmer, more meaningful holiday experience especially when coupled with the awareness and strength of respecting and controlling oneself.
Take Care of Yourself This Season
By combining healthy boundaries with anxiety and depression management strategies, you can navigate family stress with confidence and resilience.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, Coastline Counseling Group is here to help. Our licensed and associate therapists provide support for individuals, couples, and families, helping you build coping skills, establish boundaries to enjoy a healthier, more peaceful holiday.
Contact us today to schedule a session and take the first step toward a calmer holiday season. We can be reached through our website at coastlinecounselinggroup.com or at 760-206-3807.